Many people do not understand the nature of cheating within a relationship. Although there may be two sides to the story, unfaithfulness is not acceptable and is emotionally harmful to the other spouse.

Consider the sincerity of the person who betrayed you when they ask for reconciliation . You cannot go to them; they have to come to you. Once they do, you have to be sure it will not happen again. Unless you know your partner very well and can account for their actions, you will probably not be able to reassure yourself that it was a one-time event. If you can get past all that, move the spotlight onto yourself.

Assure yourself you can live with the knowledge of your partner’s betrayal in your relationship before you go any further. No one expects you to forget, but you have to be willing to forgive. Otherwise, your relationship may turn into a vicious cycle of mistrust, revenge and unspoken hate. If you say you will forgive, you have to mean it. Nevertheless, before you do, be sure that your partner understands the kind of irreversible damage they have committed.

Begin mending the relationship — It’s like going back to square one. You have to be sure the conditions that may have caused or allowed for the betrayal are eradicated from your relationship. For example, the person who your partner cheated with has to be out of the picture. No friendship, no once in a while gatherings–no contact whatsoever.

Dig deeper — Apart from staring at Internet porn or getting the seven-year itch for greener grass in the neighbour’s yard, the root cause of the problem has to be discovered, discussed and dealt with. Things between you and your partner will never be the same again, but with a little work, it can still be good. You have to find common ground, strengthen the love that remains and support one another in every way possible.

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